Finding Her: Making The ULTIMATE Decision

“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:11-13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Hi everyone! I hope my first official post finds you well. I know for a fact that there a ton of young guys out there wondering how to make the ultimate choice in a woman or how to fully recognize the conviction that a lady is actually the ONE.

Drawing a parallel to the first scripture reading from 1 Corinthians 13:11-13, most lads have the tendency of exhibiting immaturity pertaining to how they juggle ladies before finally settling down after taking many detours, which culminate in tough lessons and some decisions they may regret for a long time to come. A childish individual never makes the effort to think his or her decisions through, and he or she may end up acting on impulse, which often leads to selfish ambitions.

During my time in college, I encountered a lot of dudes who spent most of their weekends partying with the sole aim of hand-picking one girl after each party night to have sex with. It really threw me off because I found difficult to fathom how such guys never pondered about how immoral and filthy their thoughts and actions were. It appeared as if some type of competition was being held to find out who had the most female count as far as sex was concerned. Most of these folks in question had very twisted mindsets when it came down to morals. I realized the idea of commiting to one lady was such a big challenge for most of the guys in college. Nonetheless, I always believed in being committed to one woman and building a deeper relationship with her. One interesting thing I also realized about college students was that most of them, guys and girls alike, were only looking  to have fun and were heavily against being tied down in a relationship. Perhaps, it is a generational issue more than anything else.

As a child grows older, they become wiser,  make better choices, and gain a deeper understanding on a plethora of subjects. Infants advance from drinking milk to chewing meat and bones. According to Andy Mineo in the gospel rap song Man Up Anthem by the 116 Clique,“Being a man got nothing to do with age. You can be a boy till the day you lay in your grave.” In the same light, as young man grows older, he eventually puts away his childish behaviors and acts more responsibly. Responsible actions also takes into account how he treats individuals of the opposite sex. A mature guy treats ladies with utmost respect and gains a deeper insight that he can only be with one lady. Marriage is a holy covenant between a man and a woman with God as their anchor.

It is completely understandable for young folks of the opposite sex to know each other on a deeper level. It is also completely permissible to have some failed relationships. Truth be told, there is nothing like a failed relationship because it actually helps both parties involved to develop a better insight of their personal preferences- likes and dislikes, and love languages as far as dating and relationships are concerned- before making the ultimate decision. I had several failed relationships before I finally met my wife, but I always believed in love and trusted in the process leading up to it.

“So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:21-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Going back to the story of creation as highlighted in the second scripture reading from Genesis 2:21-23, as soon as God formed Eve from Adam’s ribs, he immediately recognized who she was and the important role she was going to play not only in his life, but in the entire existence of humanity. Prior to Eve coming into the picture, God realized that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone and for that reason He created a beautiful woman in His image to be his equal. The point I am making is this: when a man is interested in a woman he wastes no time in making it known to her in the manner Adam exclaimed with utter excitement: “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” Adam knew right away that Eve was the apple of his eye.

Drawing a parallel to my experience, I met my wife at Easter Convention 2014, held at the Rhode Island Convention Center, Providence, Rhode Island in April 2014 through a friend. I happened to be busy browsing on my phone shortly after the pleasantries and did not really engage in any meaningful conversation or exchange numbers with her at the time, as I did not want to appear overly interested in her. However, I took good notice of her.

How did I have the conviction that she truly was the one for me? Long story short, we met again in Albany at church and a graduation celebration both of us had been invited to about a month later. As soon as I lay my eyes on this beautiful lady, I knew in my heart that there was something really striking about her that made me zealous to get to know her better. I told myself that I wasn’t going to let this golden opportunity pass me by, and as a result, I finally exchanged numbers with her before the celebration was over and the rest was history.

The Holy Spirit is always there as a our guide and anchor. He always prompts us by ministering to our spirits not just once but over and over again. That is how we get the full confirmation to our prayers and whatever help we may need. I experienced some failed relationships and I seriously prayed to God to help me find the lady He had for me. When I least expected it, God answered my prayer in the most unlikely manner- a casual introduction through a good friend. This goes to show that when we make our requests known to God, He answers in His time in a way that beats our imagination. Patience is indeed a virtue so let’s make it a point to practice how to wait on God to answer our prayers.

God loves you!

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