Loving Your Woman Honorably
Hello readers! I trust that you are all doing well by the grace of God. My wife and I deeply thank you for your overwhelming support of our blog and its growth over the past few months. It is our strong desire to make a deeper impact for the Kingdom of God by sharing our little knowledge and experiences with you in order to give you the assurance that your best days lie ahead of you! Cling on to faith, belief and hope that the Good Lord has so much in store for you. In today’s post, I will cover how men are to love their wives, and in the case of those in relationships, the ladies God has blessed each of them with, and are working their way towards the holy covenant of marriage, in an honorable way.
As men who are maturing in the Lord, it is very important to put away all our childish ways and step up in how we treat ladies. Being a real man is about having a deep understanding of the principles of God’s word pertaining to leadership and being a Kingdom man in our society. Let me be quick to add that being or seeking to be a role model in various circles of life start from our very homes, then it can fully translate outside the four corners of where we are brought up, hopefully as responsible and honorable men of God.
Looking at marriage and relationships from a female’s perspective can be a very frightening experience. Let me dive deeper to explain what I mean by that statement. When it comes to a woman cleaving to a man in the institution of marriage or in a relationship with the aim of getting married in the future, it is essentially trusting that from that day forward, her husband or man will not cheat on her, abuse her physically, assault her sexually, treat her in a disrespectful manner, or even kill her. When it comes to the case of a married woman, she’s believing that her husband will be responsible by working hard and paying the bills, raising and loving their children in the Lord, and taking charge of all affairs relating to the household until the very end of the journey.
As a very young, married man, I am learning in depth what it truly means to love my wife as Christ loved the church, and this is a commandment I have been called on to honor for the rest of my life just like other men. I know for a fact that when I am blessed to become a father with at least a daughter, I would have an even deeper understanding, especially when I walk her down the aisle and give her hand in marriage to a man who I will be trusting to take excellent care of her.
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7
Honor Your Wife or Woman Physically
Peter acknowledges the woman as the weaker vessel, and as a result, a man must exude tender loving care when it comes to honoring his wife or woman physically. He must never hit her, push her, grab her, restrain her, or abuse her in any other way. This even includes how he looks at her- it should not be threatening, pierced, angry or violent. A godly man does not get right in his woman’s face or make her feel very uncomfortable with his presence by being a bully. Men are charged to honor their wives or ladies physically by safeguarding her interests, being protective of her, and being tender emotionally. A man should be his wife or woman’s place of refuge or safe haven aside from God protecting her and guarding her heart. A man’s physical strength should be a blessing to his wife or lady and not a form of threat or danger.
Honor Your Wife or Woman Emotionally
It is completely mythical for a man to say that he cannot connect in an emotional manner, especially with a woman. Men have the same emotions just as women, the only difference is how they are expressed in masculine and feminine styles. Intimacy is the backbone in marriages and relationships. A wife or woman in a relationship wants and deserves to know her husband or man on a very transparent or naked level- being completely open to her and not holding back or feeling ashamed (Adam and Eve- Genesis 2:25). She wants to see the passionate, loving and very honest side of him.
It should not take a misunderstanding or blowup for a man to fully express himself to his lady. It is not fair to her in any way, and I must admit that I am a culprit myself just like other men. Let do better and connect with our ladies! Learn about the five love languages- words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch- and know which ones your lady values most. Be of humble service to her, give her your attention, look into her eyes, take her on dates, surprise her with gifts, pay attention to the little details, make her the biggest believer of true love, and I guarantee that she will love you always and unconditionally.
Honor Your Wife or Woman Verbally
Speak to her respectfully. Do not give her insulting nicknames, or raise your voice at her, do not insult, threaten to hit her, or even make sarcastic remarks to or about her. Never lash out at her with your tongue even if you do not do so physically. How do you talk about her to other people? Do not give room for anyone to disrespect your wife or lady. To married men, how do you treat her when your children are around? Kids learn from what they see and experience and it becomes a part of them. Do not put your kids in a place where they have to decide which parent to love more or listen to. Honor your wife with your words, speak life into her, pray with and for her, encourage her, be her source of strength to complement God’s.
Honor Your Wife or Woman Financially
Set finanial goals that are SMART- Specific, Measurable, Agreed Upon, Realistic and Time-Based. It is completely understandable when a man hits a tough stretch of financial struggles; I went through that phase before I got married. However, I didn’t give up on seeking meaningful jobs, whether full-time or part-time. Keep pushing and do your best to make ends meet so you can support your wife or woman, and your household financially. God charged men to be responsible leaders and breadwinners so if takes going to college or a vocational or technical institute to attain a degree, diploma or some form of license go right ahead. Do not lay in a couch and do nothing meaningful with your life.
In a case you lose your job or get laid off, get back up on you feet and keep striving to realize your goals. Such responsible behavior will earn the respect of your wife or lady, and she would be able to count on you always because of your never-dying attitude. I really commend my wife for believing and supporting me at one point when I was actively pursuing a job, even when it meant taking gigs so we could save towards marriage and our future. Financial responsibility also applies in the areas of your credit history, understanding your credit score, paying your bills and credit cards on time, investing, gaining life insurance, paying your rent and mortgage, just to mention a few. I will touch more on being financially responsible in my next post.
Honor Your Wife or Woman Technologically
We live in the age of Generation Y or Millennials- the generation born in the 1980s and 1990s, made up mainly of the children of baby boomers, who are widely viewed to have deep interest in digital and electronic technology. Admittedly, many of us who belong to this group constantly check our phones, laptops, PDAs, and other high-tech devices, spend most of our time on social media and the internet, checking games scores or watching games, movies or television series, and even do so at dinner or events that encourage engaging other people.
As responsible men, we must make it our daily goal to spend time with our wives and ladies we enter relationships with, and even more time in God’s presence praying and interceding for them. Do not spend all your time watching movies or sports at the expense of spending quality time with the woman God has blessed you with. Set aside date nights and give her all your attention. Be present physically, talk about her dreams and aspirations, her fears and worries, connect on a deeper level and help nurse her instead of pushing her away.
Finally, be mindful of your social media activities and pages you follow. Stay away from anyone or any pages that might jeopardize your marriage or relationship. Stay away from pornography for it will destroy you and your ability to enjoy your wife sexually (sex here only applies to married couples- husband and wife). For those is relationships, wait until marriage so you do not commit sexual sin against God and your wife and have regrets. Do not learn this the hard way!
God loves you!