3 MORE Myths About Marriage
Let’s delve right into it!
Myth 1: ALL MARRIAGES FOLLOW THE SAME PATH!
The biggest mistake you can make is to compare your marriage process to those around you, family and/or friends. Every marriage is different as well as every relationship. One person’s fairytale will not be the same as yours. For many of us it’s common to see someone get married, and then a few months later, you find them expecting a child, which then leads them to buy a house, and then it goes into interior decoration, housewarmings, and etc. It’s a beautiful thing for those that it happens to, but not everyone will follow that pattern. Some folks will wait some time before deciding to try for kids, or maybe they’ll just live in an apartment or a condo until they feel ready enough to accept the responsibility of owning a home. Maybe some will purchase a home years before they even have children. The path of life has various roads and detours for all based on the decisions you choose to make. These decisions shouldn’t be influenced by anyone outside of the two individuals that are married to each other. The key is to be content with what you have, as well as trusting that God will write a beautiful story for you as He sees fit. God may not view your timeline as the perfect time to deliver a child or purchase a home, and etc. Maybe God sees that in your future, you may go to school or an opportunity may come up that may keep you from catering to your child and your spouse, and in order to protect your family from that, He is just delaying your desires for a short time. In the moment, you may not see it as protection, however, down the line, you will come to realize that God was doing you the greatest favor ever. Patience is truly a virtue. Continue serving God as you would if all your desires had been fulfilled. God knows what is best, so trust Him.
Myth 2: YOUR SPOUSE WILL ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Let’s first address the fact that you are responsible for your own happiness. We tend to confuse that a lot. People contribute to our happiness, however, THEY do not make us happy. No one can ever make you happy unless you are happy on your own. It is pretty similar to the concept that loving yourself will allow others to love you. If you are happy, you will then have the ability to accept happiness from others.
Now, when you date, I’m sure your partner doesn’t know everything about you, and therefore doesn’t know all of the ways to contribute to your happiness. So even as a spouse, there will be several gray areas that haven’t been covered in your day to day talks. After all, we tend to change over various time periods and so what we may have once liked or enjoyed will not always be the thing that makes us happy. We all evolve and mature, and so if at some point stuffed animals and flowers made you happy, at another point, it will probably change to cake and ice cream.
The key to all of this is to communicate. I feel that on both the male and female’s ends, we just assume that our spouse can read our minds, and then overreact when they also expect the same thing from us. If you want something, voice it out. Use your mouth! Give hints from time to time. Something you an also do is give a hint weeks in advance so that your spouse will pick up on it and deliver. For example, if your birthday was coming up, it would be much easier to say “I really wish that I could have ________ for my birthday. It would really brighten up my day.” That is so much simpler and easier as opposed to staying silent and just hoping that in some weird way, you spouse will be able to read your mind and give you exactly what you’ve wanted.
Myth 3: YOU NEED TO DO ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING TOGETHER!
I guess at the beginning of most relationships, you have a “honeymoon” period. During this honeymoon period, you guys are completely obsessed with each other and want to do everything together. This feeling carries on even after the honeymoon period for some people and they just like to be in the company of their spouses. It’s okay to do things together, but don’t forget that you should also have time for yourself to do the things that you also like. You don’t HAVE TO be together with every step you take, however, if you CHOOSE to do things together, that’s also perfectly fine. At the end of the day, you guys should only do what you both agree on.
Tune in for more!
God loves you.