3 Myths About Marriage
We are getting closer and closer to our anniversary and so we would like to put up a few posts about marriage in the upcoming weeks. So let’s get started. We’ll be addressing three myths about marriage, they may be some that you’ve heard, and maybe some that you haven’t heard, but read on to see!
Myth #1: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!
Erm, that would be incorrect! So yes, love is a very essential part of a relationship, or maybe I should say marriage, but it is not everything that you need. You definitely shouldn’t get married to anyone that you know you are not in love with. You need to have an adoration for the person you CHOOSE to be with or else your marriage is not going to work. Without love, you will feel like you want to leave the relationship after the first argument, and you will probably succeed in doing so. When you are in love with your spouse, you will disagree, but the love you have for them is what will keep you going. Now, I don’t just mean any love, but Christ’s love. I’ve probably mentioned in other posts that you cannot understand the true meaning of love if you don’t know Christ, and that’s just a fact. Jesus was the definition of love, and that’s the type of love that you need to have for your spouse as explained in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. There are many many levels to love and you need to posses each component in order to correctly love your spouse. So enough about love, because as I mentioned, it’s not all about love. The other end of this is that you need to renew your mind daily and tell yourself that you are in the relationship for the long haul. Yes, you can love someone, but you can only love with your heart. Your brain operates differently. That’s why people are able to say, “my heart is telling me yes, but my mind is telling me no.” This is legitimate. You need to tell your mind that you are in this relationship; this commitment; this covenant, until death do you part. Whatever you think with your mind will also translate in your heart and will in turn come out of your mouth. If you have the mindset that you can divorce your spouse at anytime, it will settle in your heart and it’ll come out of your mouth and you would’ve spoken that into existence. This will make it much easier for you to just get up and get divorced over something very foolish, as opposed to sticking it out.
Myth 2: YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX ____ TIMES A WEEK!
I think this myth is a really big one for most people. I think there’s the idea that if you have a certain amount of sex, then it means your marriage is on solid ground. I’ve heard various quantities from twice a day to once a day to three times a week. There is no sex amount or limit that can be placed on your marriage to make you feel like you and your spouse are on good terms. The reality of the situation is the fact that people have jobs/careers, businesses to handle, and then down the line folks have some kids. There may not be enough time in your short 24 hours to make that happen. In marriage, you have to be intentional about having sex, or your “busy” schedules may push you away from spending time with each other. If setting a specific number each week works for you, then that’s great, but there is no rule as to how many times a married couple needs to have sex in order to stay afloat. That’s just a lie!
Myth 3: EACH PARTNER NEEDS TO GIVE 50%.
Some of us have the thought that while in a relationship or a marriage, if each party gives 50%, then that equals the 100% effort needed to make the relationship work, however that’s just not correct. With that kind of thinking, you’ll assume that your partner is responsible for 50% of everything required to make your household run. For example, maybe you’ll clean the dishes, do the laundry, and cook dinner, but then you expect your spouse to vacuum, mop, and dust to make up for the other 50% of work that needs to be done. Well, that’s not particularly fair, right? What if your spouse if better at laundry and dishes than dusting and mopping? What if your spouse is sick? That would’ve just created a problem for you. The downside of this is that you are only concerned about your portion and not the whole–the entire goal, which is to have the house clean, chores completed, and dinner ready. What is required from both of you is 100%. One hundred percent from both ends, so that you have an exceeding amount of effort on both ends. However, making the effort to give 100% doesn’t mean that things will always work out that way. Some days, one will be able to give more than the other and vice versa because LIFE happens. The main goal is that the two of you are in constant support of each other. If your spouse is having an off day, do what you can to alleviate stress and tension at home, and when the same happens to you, your spouse will also pick up the slack.
Tune in for more!
God loves you.