How is marriage?

The question:

What’s marriage like? How is it?

When I’m asked this question, I always respond with, “It’s a lot of fun”. A lot of naysayers will argue that I haven’t been married long enough to know what marriage is like, but I’m currently living it, and so I will speak on behalf of the stage I am currently in. It’s been about 4 and a half months of marriage, headed towards five. I’ve had a lot of fun within these few months, however, we shouldn’t assume that fun means that I don’t disagree with my spouse.

We disagree from time to time as needed, but an argument never allows us to lose sight of the happiness we have in our marriage. No matter what relationship you are involved in, you will disagree. No one is perfect and no one understands another perfectly at all times. It just doesn’t happen, but when you do disagree, it’s important to come together and reach common ground.

I’ve started to notice things that annoy me about my husband, and vice versa, but we both refer to it as a joke. He claims that I like to waste water, which could slightly be true. He is the complete opposite. He is the only person I know that showers and turns off the water in between. I, on the other hand, would never do that because I love to feel warm water running on me whether I need it or not. When it comes to his weakness, I’ve noticed that he loves to waste electricity. I could be sleeping, and since he tends to head off to work before I do, I’ll wake up and go to the bathroom and see that the lights are left on. If I come home from work, he’ll be in the bedroom, but then the kitchen, and 2nd bedroom lights will still be on. This never causes a fight, however, we just take note of it and keep moving on. I’ll continuously turn off the lights in the house, and he’ll come by and lower the water pressure as I wash my dishes. It’s a partnership, and it’s a great laugh while we do it.

At the phase we are in, we always want to be near each other. Our days are longer when we are not together, and so when we do get together, we appreciate it.

I’m not really sure what else to highlight. Marriage is a beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful partnership. It’s just great to go through life with someone that you love and continue to love as the days go by. Your love only becomes stronger and stronger, and like I mentioned, we are only four and a half months in, so imagine how great our love will be years down the road.

So, what is marriage like? Marriage is filled with responsibilities. You are not only in charge of your life, but the life of someone else as well. You can’t be selfish and only be concerned about yourself. It doesn’t take marriage to know this, as I would hope that you would’ve identified this before getting married. I make sure that my husband is okay in every area, as he always does for me. I always try to save him the last bit of leftovers, but I’ll come back home to see that he’s left me half of the portion that I had intended for him to eat completely. That’s what love is about. I make sure that I cook for him and tidy up when I can, but I don’t necessarily do this because it’s the “wife’s” duty. I do it because I care, and also because cooking is one of my favorite things to do. One of my many future plans was to become a chef, so I accomplish that by cooking all sorts of meals at home. It’s beneficial for me because my husband isn’t so obsessed with eating Ghanaian food everyday and so he is always open to trying new things. But anyway, when I can’t get to something or need help, I always let him know and see if he can pick up where I couldn’t finish. He’s always willing to help and I appreciate that.

I haven’t really tapped into being a sports fanatic yet, and because he is a sports journalist, I kind of need to find an interest in that too. I haven’t yet played FIFA with him, but that’s also on my list as well. All that matters is that I’m acknowledging what he finds to be important, and as time goes on, I’ll find a way to add that into my routine in order to turn those moments into bonding moments as well. Maybe it’ll be something we do as a family once the kids come along.

God loves you.

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