Loving Your Man Honorably (Part I)

Hello lovely readers! I pray that you are all doing very well. It feels good to be back to share my little knowledge with you. In the month of February, I published a post on: Loving Your Woman Honorably, so it is only right to tackle the reverse edition of the subject from a male’s perspective to give ladies a chance to have a slightly deeper insight on what it truly means to love their husbands or the men God has blessed them with in a worthy manner.

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands- Ephesians 5:21-33

21) 
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22) For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23) For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.
24) As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 
26) to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. [5:26 Greek washed by water with the word]. 
27) He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.
28) In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.
29) No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.
30) And we are members of his body.
31) As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
32) This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
33) So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 In summary of the verses above, husbands and wives are commanded to honor God by submitting to each other in the institution of marriage. God calls on wives to submit to their husbands just as they show reverence to Him as the Father. Verse 24 states explicitly that this act of submission in relation to wives applies to everything- all aspects of the marriage- so there is no picking or choosing which areas of the union to honor or disregard God’s commandment on this topic. It is a parallel or direct reflection of God’s relation to His church. Likewise, husbands are called on to love their wives with as much passion as Christ loved the church- meaning husbands are to love their wives just as they love their very selves (their bodies). It is for this very reason a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. In conclusion of the verses above, just as each man is instructed to love his wife as much as he loves himself in every way possible, every wife must see to it that she respects her husband in every facet of their holy matrimony.

Definition of Respect in Regards to Wives
What does it mean for a wife or lady to respect her husband or the man God has blessed her with?

Respect means:
to admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Example: “she was respected by everyone she worked with”
Synonyms: esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, look up to, revere, reverence, honor, love, encourage.

To my ladies, what do you respect about your husbands or men, and are they aware of what they are? Do you view yourselves as respectful toward them, and would they share the same views? There are three core areas that exhibit the quality of respect- the head (mental/mind), heart (emotions), and hands (physical). Does your husband or man naturally command respect from you and others? How do you talk to or about him?

Do you follow his guidance as ordained by God, or do you naturally rebel to get your way all the time? Do you allow him to lead you spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, and in all other key areas in your marriage or relationship? Do you take time to listen to him and accept his unerring rebuke (his admonition may sometimes be biased) without lashing your tongue back at him? Are you honest with him in all areas or are you secretive about your feelings and emotions and hide important information from him? Do you make decisions without consulting him for his opinion?

Disrespecting your husband or man could lead you to sin with your head by not listening to him or having the desire to repent, with your heart by being filled with pride and brushing aside how he feels, and with your hands by not reaching out to him on a physical and emotional level because you may feel that you know better than him.

Loving and Respecting Your Man with Your Head
Respect always begins in our minds and thoughts, it starts in our control centers-our heads. Disrespect also kicks off in a similar fashion, and if care is not taken, it translates to our hearts and hands- thats how the temptation sets in.

14) Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.
15) These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.- James 1:14-15

How do you react to your husband or man’s decisions? Disrespect could kick in when you’re tempted to think like this:

That was the dumbest decision he made; I am way smarter and can do better than him. I wish he were as smart as _______. I will just fix this mess he created once he goes out of town. I hope the kids don’t emulate him when they grow up. I won’t bother asking for his opinion because he doesn’t understand anyway.

Ladies, don’t allow this way of thinking toward your husband or man to continue in your mind and heart, as this may infiltrate your heart and will eventually spew out of your mouth and reflect in your actions.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. -2 Corinthians 10:5

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2

The Bible urges us to keep our thoughts in check by renewing our mindset. This is something that should be done on a daily basis.

8) Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
9) Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.- Philippians 4:8-9.

Many of us have read on the topic of respect and can reach the consensus that it is a very key trait for a wife and a husband alike to develop by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. However, there may be instances where a lady comes off as feisty, sarcastic, or even disagreeable just to be spiteful to her better half (man). I must add that there may be cases where a woman builds emotional walls as a false sense of security due to all the hurt she’s been through. It takes hard work and sometimes a lot of years for her to finally get past the roadblocks and let her guard down to a healthy level where she shows respect to her man by being transparent in her words and actions.

To overcome the ill-feeling or bitterness in regards to disrespect in marriage, ladies must shift their focus toward God, repent, and ask Him to fill their minds with respectful thoughts. For women who contend that they find nothing to respect about their husbands and nag him or complain ceaselessly, the key is to remember why you married him in the first place. Something about him must have been admirable, attractive or made him suitable to fill the place of first gentleman in your life. Differences in character and love languages can be a cause of disrespect in the marriage.

To solve this, the primary focus should be on complementing each other as Christ completes the man and his wife as a godly couple- your attention should be on being positive-minded about your strengths and work collectively on your weaknesses so both of you can grow together. Confess any sin of disrespect to God and your husband or man, and allow the Holy Spirit to prompt you if you’re going off course.

Observe your husband or man very closely then jot down what you appreciate about him. If he works hard, remains faithful to you, pays the bills as he should, leads by example, prays for you and the family, take time to appreciate him with your words whether spoken or written. Take into account the times your husband or man encourages you when you do an amazing job and reciprocate giving him honest compliments. This does not mean you should overlook his shortcomings, but don’t dwell on them and use that as an avenue to disrespect him.

In conclusion of  part one of this post, break the cycle of disrespect and turn to God for direction; by doing so, God will reward you with wisdom, understanding and increase your faith and happiness in the marriage or godly relationship. This will create a positive chain reaction in that your words become edified and your actions will be purer toward God first then trickle down to your husband or man. Be on the lookout for part 2 of this post. Stay blessed!

God loves you all!

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