Oral Sex: Is it wrong?????
So, this past weekend, I noticed that a particular topic was going viral, as the Instagram page “@spiritualword” brought it to light. I will post the photo below, but I will acknowledge that I do not have any rights to the post. I also do not know what the original post was which sparked this deep conversation, or maybe I should say “argument”.
So, the question at hand is, “Is it wrong or unclean to have oral sex?”. This question is meant for those that are married.
One commentator mentioned that sex was meant for reproduction, in order to “be fruitful and multiply”, and because oral sex did not allow for that to occur, it was wrong. In this case, I completely disagree, because what the individual is saying is not biblical. In fact, the bible verse is being twisted to look a particular way, when in fact, it’s being taken out of context. I think it’s very wrong to use the bible to push your own agenda. If something is simply not covered in the bible, acknowledge that it is not covered, however, do not draw your own conclusions and force Christians to believe it is so by attaching any bible verse to it. Based on this individual’s opinion, it would be right to also acknowledge that kissing does not allow individuals to be “fruitful and multiply”, and so kissing would also be wrong. This would also work well for any type of foreplay that is done by the couple, as this also does not cause one to “be fruitful and multiply”.
The bible tells us to be fruitful and multiply in Genesis after God creates Adam and Eve, and therefore gives them dominion over all of the earth.
“27 So God created human beings[a] in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.” (Genesis 1:27-28 NLT)
Another account of “be fruitful and multiply” is highlighted later on in Genesis after the world was destroyed with the flood. God made a new covenant with Noah and his family and told them to take dominion over the earth because everything, people included, had been cleared out completely.
“Then God blessed Noah and his sons and told them, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth. 2 All the animals of the earth, all the birds of the sky, all the small animals that scurry along the ground, and all the fish in the sea will look on you with fear and terror. I have placed them in your power. 3 I have given them to you for food, just as I have given you grain and vegetables. 4 But you must never eat any meat that still has the lifeblood in it.” (Genesis 9:1-4 NLT)
” 7 Now be fruitful and multiply, and repopulate the earth.” (Genesis 9:7 NLT)
These statements were made as it applied to filling the earth with descendants upon descendants. It was said to encourage Noah and his family to rebuild the earth after it had been destroyed due to inexcusable sin. Noah and his family had to start all over and create the life that was once created by the procreation of Adam and Eve. The statement was not made in reference to how husband and wife should be intimate, and so using this statement is not valid in argument.
A lot of people seem to be offended or angry at Heather’s comment, but I don’t think that’s fair either. I do feel that she could have worded her response differently by saying that she and her husband personally don’t feel that it’s a good idea, but the issue came along when she said that they felt it was wrong or unclean, thus causing others to feel that they were condemning anyone who felt it wasn’t unclean or wrong. The issue with the entire situation surrounding Heather is the fact that people hold her up to such a high standard and look up to her as their example so much that they try to live their lives as she would. God does raise his soldiers up to a platform, but He doesn’t do that so that you in turn will live their lives instead of developing your own lives.
Let’s learn to be unique. Be your own person that’s not heavily influenced by those that surround you. People of such platforms are there to help you become a better version of yourself, they are not there to make photo copies of who they are.
“3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” ( 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 NLT)
Here, the bible tells the husband and wife that their bodies belong to each other, and that it’s their obligation to satisfy the sexual needs of their spouses. It doesn’t give specific instruction on how exactly to satisfy your spouse, but I think we can possibly assume that everyone’s sexual needs are different, and are thus handled differently as the couple deems fit. Also in these verses, Paul refers to the fact that the two can put sexual relations on the back-burner if and ONLY if both of them agree. When it comes to any sexual preference, I believe it’s for the couple to discuss and BOTH agree to. No one should be able to tell you that you are wrong for a particular interest if the both of you have agreed to it. We all have our limits and our thoughts on what we believe is a bit too much and inappropriate, but like I mentioned, the decision is up to the couple.
All-in-all, the fact of the matter is that what happens between you and your husband is the business of you and your husband. Whatever it is that you like to do should be agreed upon by the both of you, and should remain IN YOUR BEDROOM. Don’t falsely use bits and pieces of the bible to satisfy your own personal thoughts when the bible does not give explicit instructions on that topic. Also, it’s very important to know the bible for yourself and to be your own “pastor”. We all have pastors and public figures of influence in our lives, and if they prefer a particular choice over another, it’s your responsibility to do proper research and make the decision for yourself, regardless of what the topic may be.
God loves you.