Am I ready for marriage?

The question:

“How do you know if you’re ready for marriage or not?”

Let me first address the fact that, I am not the one who will tell you whether or not you are ready for marriage. No one can tell you that you are ready for marriage. This is a decision that you have to make on your own, as you heed to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Marriage is not an easy thing, and it’s not a commitment that should be taken lightly. Marriage is hard work, and you need to realize that it is a CHOICE. Everyday that you wake up, you are making the CHOICE to continue to be in love and to stay committed to your spouse. Marriage is forever. Don’t ever condition your mind that you can get out of it, or else you WILL fail. If you feel within yourself that you are ready for marriage, chances are that you probably are ready.

To help you out, here are a few things you should probably think of before making your final decision.

Do I understand what marriage is and its purpose?

Marriage is a covenant between two individuals (man and woman) and God. It’s a union that is bound in Heaven by God himself. Marriage was created to display the relationship between Christ and His church. The man represents God and the woman represents the church. The way God loves His church is the way a husband should love his wife. Just remember that love is not just a feeling, but an action that is displayed. The wife is responsible for being submissive. You can liken this to the way we respect God as our Father and Saviour. Another purpose of marriage is for procreation. Procreation ensures that the Gospel will continue to spread. With procreation, couples are bringing forth more soldiers for Christ, hence the reason why it is so important to train up a child in the way of the Lord. When you are dead and gone, it’s your teachings and discipline that will continue the work of the Lord THROUGH your offspring. Let’s note that it’s not all couples that will bear children, but in the end, God has the ultimate plan. Through it all, marriage should always bring glory to God.

Do I have means of taking care of my family, if the need arises?

It’s important that you have means of providing for yourself and your family. Although it’s been the man’s responsibility, you are the safety net for your family if any emergency occurs. Whether you stay at home to take care of the kids or if you have a full time job, it’s important to provide some security for your family. People start businesses everyday. If that’s something you are interested in, start now. Don’t wait until you need the money before you start, because at that time, you will not be at the point where you are making so much of a profit. If business is not your interest, help someone start a business and have them give you a percentage. With this, you won’t have to do much work, yet you’ll still be able to raise some money.

Is he right for me? Would I want to have children just like him?

What makes him the best fit for you? What is his character like? What are his values and morals? Do you guys agree on those aspects? If you know that you wouldn’t want to have offspring like your future-husband, then you already know that he is not the right one for you. Your children will either take your character or his character. It’s not something that you get to pick and choose. or hope for. DNA determines everything. Don’t put yourself in a position where you could have offspring that will negatively remind you of your husband.
**Do not get married because you are getting “old” or are afraid to be single. You can do better. Do not settle!**

Am I only interested in having children?

With or without children, marriage still brings glory to God. If you think you are getting married just so that you can have children, then you should hold off and think about that. We are all not guaranteed to bear children. Most times, it’s not until you get married, that you find out you don’t have the ability to have children. Some people are able to have one child, but then realize that they are not able to carry out another pregnancy. Don’t be discouraged; testimonies are always on the way. God allows these things to happen for many reasons. Sometimes, things happen in order to encourage others and also bring them to the saving knowledge of Christ through your INTENTIONAL “misfortune”.

Am I ready to take on another family?

When you get married, you do not get married to your husband alone. You also become one with his family, whether they are immediate or extended. Are you prepared to bring them into your life? When you get married, you shouldn’t view your husband’s family as your “in-laws”. You should view them as if you shared the same blood. They are now part of you and as you move forward with your husband, they will continue to remain a part of you. You can’t throw them away. Build relationships with them and care for them. You can’t love your husband if you refuse to love his family.

Am I able to fight on my family’s behalf in prayer?

Prayer is such an important aspect of life. Some of us don’t realize that we are still here on this earth due to the prayers of our mothers, grandmother, and etc. When you get older, it’s no longer your parent that can save you in prayer. You need to be able to pray on your own behalf. Now, when you get married, you need to have the mindset of a mother and begin to plead the blood of Jesus over your future children and your husband. The moment the devil sees something that will bring glory to God come to fruition, it sends red signals all over his domain. He cannot live to see that happen and so you become his target. It’s important that you have the ability to wrestle through intensive prayers.

Getting married is your choice and is under your discretion. If you know that you are not ready, do not allow anyone to pressure into getting married. Make sure you pray first!

God loves you!

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