Dealing with an Overly Emotional Guy: Be the voice of REASON
Hello, Hello, Hello!
Welcome to the first official blog post.
I am going to be discussing men and emotions. I was given this topic by a friend of mine that has recently been struggling with this.
Emotional Men. DO THEY EXIST?
Yes, I believe our generation and society in general has had a history of rebuking men with emotions and forcing them to believe that having emotions make them weak. If that is the case, then maybe we should also say that women are weak as well. We all know that is not true. Emotions are depicted because we all at many times or more have had challenges and struggles that we may or may not be so vocal about.
So imagine a man who is told that he should not express his feelings, and then is hit with a whirlwind of stress and issues. It’s only fair that he express how he truly feels or else he just may lose his mind! Now with these emotions, you can trust and believe that he will express himself to the one that he can confide in; whom I would think is his girlfriend or significant other.
We should encourage our men to express their emotions and be happy that he is showing a more humane side, but trust me when I say dealing with an OVERLY emotional man can be a very difficult pill to swallow.
P.S. I may break this topic up into a few different segments. Please stay tuned!!!
I was posed, the following question:
“How do you deal with an overly emotional guy without bruising his ego? “
This friend of mine, is in a relationship where her partner seems to be going through some issues and it’s clear that he’s struggling, however, he refuses to fill her in on what is wrong and then becomes angry when she is not able to cater to his needs. Difficult right?
Let’s try to improve the issue. The key phrase here is that we do it without “bruising his ego.”
Personally, I always like to take the route that includes being HONEST. As they say, “Don’t comfort someone with a lie”, lest you be an enabler. So, tell him what you’ve observed and let him know that it is negatively affecting the relationship. Be respectful and DO NOT demean him. After all, I’m sure you care about his feelings and furthering the relationship.
Here’s my story: I was with a man, (we’ll just call him John), that had personal issues of his own. John would really beat himself up about almost anything and I could not understand why. In the end it would just piss me off and then it would turn into an argument. John would have a bad day at work, which is absolutely normal, but then he would allow it to weigh him down and then seep into a depressed mood. Now, I’m trying to talk to him and be cheerful about other things that have gone well throughout the day, and he would respond with his depressed emotions. Goodness gracious! It would completely kill my mood and then I would feel a dark cloud headed towards the top of my head. This behavior would continue for several times throughout the week.
I JUST COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I couldn’t spend the end of all my days in sadness and anger just because John couldn’t see the brighter side of things. I had to tell him in a straightforward manner that his emotions were getting the best of him and that it was affecting our relationship. I told him that the relationship could not move forward if we fought more than we spoke, and went to bed feeling low almost every day. Thankfully, he understood and felt the same way. He acknowledged that he needed to work on his emotions and that it was something he struggled with. We both agreed that it was something we would work on together. He did his part and I did my part through PRAYER and SUPPORT. Ever since we had that honest talk about his emotions, I could see him make the conscious effort to be more positive. Yes, he slipped up a couple of times, but I became a VOICE OF REASON for him and instead of becoming angry, I took the role of reminding him of the brighter side of things. “It won’t stay this way forever.” “When you feel uncomfortable, it’s often a sign that your time is up in that specific place.” I told him these phrases and many others over and over. John grew into a more pleasant person and partner and I couldn’t be more grateful. It was evident that he felt better about himself and the situations he faced at a given time.
Back to answering the question, be honest and let him know how you feel. Always provide proof or evidence of why you have come to your conclusion. I say, you should treat this as if he were the jury in the courtroom. You always have to sway the jury into believing what you perceive to be true, and in this same manner, you are doing the same to your man. Help him understand why it is hurting the relationship and explain that you want better for the both of you.
Once he understands, don’t just leave him to think about it. Brainstorm ideas of how you guys can work on it TOGETHER. Show him that you’re committed to the relationship moving forward and make sure that HE is as well. Think about little tasks you guys can do throughout the day to make sure that you can keep track and be aware of progress. Be his voice of reason and bring him back to a positive reality. Find ways to lift up his mood. Tell him a joke, be silly, be YOU. Don’t let him slip and just watch him fail. That will not get you the results you’re looking for.
I think I’ll end it here for this post. I’ll continue in the next post with more questions relating to “Overly Emotional” Men.
I hope you enjoyed this post! Let me know what you think below!!
God loves you.