Dealing with an Overly Emotional Guy: Part 2
WELCOME BACK AGAIN!
On my first “official” post, I gave a personal story about dealing with “John” and his emotions as they negatively affected our relationship.
I will continue from that post and answer the final two questions I was asked by my friend.
“How do I allow him to express his emotions, but not let him take over everything?”
My answer: Speak to him like you would a regular friend. Let him express himself and his thoughts. It’s important to listen to what he has to say and validate his feelings. Show him that you care by being attentive. Don’t be so quick to offer a solution. People that express their problems want to feel that they are being heard, so generalize his emotions if it is possible to do so. For example, if he says that he assisted someone at the cash register and they yelled at him, let him know that naturally, it’s not a good feeling when you’re trying to help someone and they in turn begin to yell at you.
Another thing that can be done is that the both of you can agree on an amount of time that each of you will spend talking about your emotions or any unpleasant thing that has occurred during your day. After that set time, you guys can focus on solutions and then move on to talk about other things. Don’t spend all your time talking about the negatives. Take time to highlight the good things that have gone well. You have life, you’re healthy, you’re safe, and you have access to food and water. There’s always something positive that happens in the midst of hectic and emotional days.
“What is the way to properly communicate your emotions?”
I feel that it is always important to express what is going on in your mind. It’s very therapeutic when you can find someone who always lends a listening ear and later provides sound advice for anything you’re going through. It’s okay to cry from time to time. Release everything that is bothering you and start with a clean slate. However, everything needs to be done in moderation.
If you want to express your emotions, keep the following things in mind.
1. Don’t be selfish
Everyone has bad days and struggles that they don’t even speak about. Make sure that you don’t make it seem like you are the only one going through a tough time.
2. Be ready to receive any type of opinion and/or criticism that may follow.
It’s hard to express your emotions to someone and not hear their solution or thoughts. It’s a natural thing for us to do. We always want to fix something that is wrong. If you are not ready for other opinions, make sure you express at the very beginning of the relationship that you just need to vent and want a listening ear as opposed to solutions to your problem.
3. Don’t spend all your time talking about it.
As I mentioned in my answer for the prior question, spend a few minutes talking about your emotions and the rest of the time talking about other things. Have a debate, discuss something you read on the internet. Be fruitful in conversation!
I think that’s all I have for now on emotional guys. Be grateful that you have a man who is not afraid to express his deepest emotions to you, but do make sure that it doesn’t consume every bit of your relationship. Life is great when you can take moments to appreciate the positive things in life.
P.S. If you do know someone who is battling severe depression, please encourage them to get some help. Depression leads to suicide and it should NEVER get to that phase.
God loves you.