Hmm…Should I change my career for this relationship?
“A guy from church became friends with me and we started “talking”. He said he wanted to get married next year. I told him that I wanted to go to school. He said that we could get married and I could go to school later. Instead of coming up with solutions, he was more focused on getting married next year. So, when I mentioned I wasn’t ready for that, he said that it was fine and that he would move on and marry someone else next year instead.”
“How is it that he was able to move on from me to the next person so quickly? He’s really getting married next year.”
First of all, in this case or in any case, if a guy presents to you that he will move on with someone else, chances are that he was already engaging some one else aside from you. If he is ready to get married to someone else, he was building some type of relationship with her while he was also with you. That’s extremely unfortunate, but it only proves that he was never the right one for you period. Don’t consider it a loss. He has done you a great favor.
So “Kayla” explains to us that before this man decided that he would move on with someone else, he was not so concerned with her moving forward in her education. Kayla is an extremely intelligent woman who has a Bachelor’s degree as well as a Master’s degree with plans of going to Dental School.
Here goes another story of mine. I once used to talk to “Stephen”. Stephen was a cool and funny guy that I wanted to get to know a lot more. He visited me while I was at school and I also took some trips to also visit him as well. Nothing shady would happen. We would just hang out, go out to eat, and play instruments together. All that great stuff. However, I noticed that each time he would ask me about my interests and what career I wanted to work towards, I would mention Fashion Design. Each time I mentioned Fashion Design, he would repeat the question with the expectation of me mentioning a corporate job. He would say, so if that doesn’t work, then what are you going to do; or while you get that going, what REAL job will you have? Those statements never sat well with me because essentially, he had determined in his mind that I could not achieve that dream of mine. We eventually stopped “talking” and just remained friends and although it wasn’t a good feeling, I was glad that I wouldn’t be in a relationship where my significant other didn’t believe in my dreams and my capabilities.
It’s important that you always follow your dreams. Don’t let someone allow you to believe that your dreams are too big to be a reality. At the end of the day, YOU are the one in control of your life. No one has to live that life, but you. If you are not enjoying it, no one else feels the pain, and so don’t allow someone to convince you out of something that your heart is set on. After all, God is the one who deposits those desires in your heart.
The millionaires that you see on TV did not rely on someone to believe in their dream for them. They got up and said, “this is what I want to do, and so I’m going to make it happen by any means necessary.” Follow your dreams and if you come across someone who doesn’t plan on helping you achieve that, then I’m sorry. They are not ready to help you become the best version of yourself. Make sure that you’ve established yourself to the degree you desire.
If God-forbid, your spouse passes away after discouraging you from completing your studies, how will you take care of yourself? If you guys had children together, how do you expect to take care of the children? Please don’t put yourself in a situation where you are not able to help your family if the need arises. Do what is best for you before getting into marriage so that you are equipped to do what is best for your “family”.
God loves you.