I want to wait.-And then he laughed…

The question:

“So I want to remain celibate until marriage. I’m not a virgin, but in the past, having sex while dating clouded my thinking and has complicated things. I really want to do things the right way now. I like him, but he laughed at my idea of waiting. Now I’m getting worried and discouraged. What should i do?”

Well, well, well! Let me just put it out there that he is not the one for you. Simple.

If you express to someone that you are trying to abstain from sex or to be celibate, they should admire that about you. They should support your decision and help you achieve that goal.

He’s not the right one for you. It just shows his character. If he can’t support you in something as big as being abstinent/celibate, then what makes you so sure that he’ll support you in other things that you want to do in your lifetime? Support is a very important part of building a relationship. Your partner should always feel that they have your support. When they are having a bad day, they look to you to comfort them; so if he is failing to do that from the onset, then you can’t expect him to be a source of support for you, which then translates to him not being a fit partner.

Is he a Christian? I mean, a Christian that actually practices what he reads out  of the bible? If he is a “Christian”, then it also shows that he’s not mature in God. Someone that is mature in the word of God would know that the word of God is totally against that. The bible says that our bodies are the temple of God. The Holy Spirit lives within us, and pre-marital sex makes our bodies a place where the Holy Spirit would prefer not to be. A Christian that’s actually a follower of Christ would have no issue with that choice.

I dated “Timmy” some years ago and when the relationship began, I laid down a few rules of my own. I let him know that I did not want to have sex throughout our relationship. He was not a virgin, and so I know that it was something that may be tough for him, and although I was a virgin at that time,  it was also something that was not easy for me as well. However, Timmy was beyond supportive and even found it to be very unique and admirable especially in the generation we were in. There would be many times that I would express to him that I was having a hard time, but he would never use it to his advantage. He would always remind me of how far I had come and that I wouldn’t have much longer to wait and so it was best that I just continue. He also knew that if I did not wait and decided to let it go, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself and he did not want to see me in the guilt and pain, and so it pushed him  even more to be supportive.

Don’t compromise your values for someone who may not have any. You know what’s best for yourself. Don’t let a temporary person convince you otherwise.

God loves you!

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