The CHOICE is yours: you have FREE WILL

The question:

“What if you have found someone and you know this is the person God wants for you. He’s not perfect, but you are content. The problem is that he is in school with an extremely tough and time consuming major, he does not have time for you. You do not want to date him because of this but he doesn’t understand. He thinks you two are going to be fine, but you’re not. You do not want to lose him but you know perfectly well that this is not a good time for you two to date. Do you just break up and keep praying?”

No one will ever be “perfect”. You will often meet people that meet a number of your expectations, but lack in a few. That’s just normal. No one will ever meet every bit of criteria on your imaginary “perfect husband” list. It just won’t happen. Always keep in mind that who you think is good for you, may not necessarily be what you NEED. What you look for will always cover the “wants” portion of life, but when it comes to what you need, God always knows, and He tends to provide that in your final choice as long as you allow him to lead you.

I always thought that I would get married to a musician; a built one at that. That was because music was and is life for me. It’s been a very important part of my life since childhood. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to live with someone that didn’t understand music, and look what I got! Someone that’s not so musically inclined/involved or whatever you want to call it. I’m alive and I’m happy. I made music such an integral part of who I wanted my husband to be, but God knew that I would be just fine with someone who focused more on other things.

Now, when it comes to being content, what exactly are you content with? Are you content that he’s a nice person, with some qualities that you would need in a husband? Are you simply content that you have a man?

I believe that I’ve mentioned in another article that timing is everything. You mentioned that he is in school dealing with a time-consuming major. If time is an issue, then communication is limited, in which you can refer to my previous post: COMMUNICATION is necessary! However, although you’ve mentioned that you feel that it is the person God wants for you, God does not make mistakes. The person could be right for you, but it may just be the wrong timing, however, I don’t really believe that God makes mistakes in that either. If your mate feels that the timing is not wrong, you should allow him to prove that to you. Let him show you that he can make time for you, which he should be able to do, and be appreciative of that, or simply give each other space. Let me tell you though, the moment you give each other space, it will either make or break your relationship. If things are well between you, I think it will break your relationship. You guys will be growing individually, however, you will not be growing together and so you will miss out on the things that are going on with each other. If things aren’t going well, the distance will allow each of you to grow individually and if you do end up coming together, it will be as if you’re meeting each other for the first time all over again, and it will give your relationship a fresh new start.

Education is important. Don’t put a relationship before your education, but don’t allow your education to alienate you from those who love you and those who could potentially love you. Developing professionally is all about networking. You can meet all sorts of people, and through that, God will open your eyes to the person that you NEED to help you take your career to the next level; and so be open to spending time outside of your studies from time to time.

If you have to think twice about the relationship you’re in, then you already know whether or not the person is right for you. No one can convince you that someone is the “one”. It is only you that can make that decision. God gave us free will to choose the paths that we have taken and will go forward to take in the future. When it comes to choosing your significant other, it is also up to you. If you feel that someone is the one for you, it is up to you to make that call, but you should never make that call without seeking the counsel of God Himself. I think that as women, we are wired to meet someone and automatically see if they are husband material for us. With this wiring, we sometimes assume that just because someone is nice and has good qualities, then he would make a good husband, but that can literally be anyone. And so once we realize that, we are okay to say that a number of men can potentially be our husband. It gets that way, but that’s why it’s so crucial to involve God in our plans. God knows what we want, and He will direct our path as long as we allow him to do so. What you may think is yours, just may not be for you. There’s so much more to learn about a person outside of a few qualities. You won’t know everything about someone in 2 years, 3 years, or even on the day you get married. It’s impossible. Your significant other will reveal bits of himself to you as time goes on and vice versa. Let’s be open and get rid of the fears of being alone. Let God lead you, and trust me, you won’t have to think twice about it.

It’s seems like a lot of responsibility, doesn’t it? That’s okay. God doesn’t give us more than we can bear. He gave us His Holy Spirit for guidance, and so use Him to get to the end that you expect.

God loves you.

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