Where the Godly Men at?

The question:

“I’m in my mid-20’s. I’ve been on a few dates here and there, but I’ve always ended things before they could begin because the guys didn’t love God. They offered to “do church” with me, but that’s just not good enough. My issue is that I feel that nobody that loves God is interested. Men just don’t approach me anymore even though I am in places with Godly men. What am I doing wrong?”

Are you outgoing?

Are you outgoing, friendly, and etc.? Think, if you were a man, would you want to meet yourself? Personally, many folks have told me that I always look angry. I had no idea. I always thought I had one of those sexy smirks on my face, but apparently I didn’t and still don’t. It’s something I still have to work on, but it’s something that may push people away if you’re the same way. People had to get to know me in order to realize that I was a really nice person. If they left it to my face, I guess I probably wouldn’t have any friends. Take note that your physical appearance(straight faced or looking mean) and mannerisms are some of the things that may throw a guy off.

Are your standards too high?

What exactly are you looking for in a man? Many of us may not realize that the man we are looking for is right in front of our faces, and we are overlooking him just because his exterior is not what we are really looking for. Yes, it’s good to find someone that you are attracted to, but you shouldn’t have too high of a physical standard. Some us are into men that are 6’2 with a six pack and straight teeth. That’s great and all, but how many men have that in general, let alone men that are crazy about God. Don’t lay your standards by the riverside, but learn to set standards that are actually important. Set standards that will either make or break your destiny. His looks won’t do that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and to be very honest, after you get to know someone that has great qualities, they become more and more attractive to you. Let’s be honest, we all know someone who has gotten married to someone you didn’t think was cute in any way. That person thinks they’re the most handsome and physically amazing person, and you’re sitting around wondering how. I can guarantee that if you got to know them, their appearance would be less of your worry and your attraction would increase based on how you felt about them as a person.

Focus on yourself.

If you have not found anyone, use the time wisely. Focus on yourself. You will always need some fine-tuning. To figure out how to spend your single time wisely, check out my blog post: 4 Things to Focus on while SINGLE.

When you are not focused on finding a man, one comes your way.

I’ve noticed that when you focus so much on finding a man, one never seems to come your way. I used to be that way in college. I would always say that no one worthy was interested in me and then I’d just give up. In that time of giving up, I just gave up on marriage in general. The crazy thing is that I thank God for that period of my life. When I gave up on the idea of marriage, I became happy with who I was as a woman. I was content with where I was in life and realized that marriage would not make me less of a woman or more of a woman. I acknowledged that if I were never to get married, I would still be happy with myself. I carried this mindset with me and learned to be okay with just being single, although I would I was still open to finding the right person if that chance came along. I stopped looking, and I focused more on myself.

Stop worrying about who is or is not interested in you. You will be who God wants you to be whether or not you are married at a certain age. Focus more on God and have him direct your path.

Are you comfortable in your own skin or with being alone?

As I mentioned above, I became comfortable with being single. Are you comfortable with yourself? Do you have insecurities? A guy or marriage should never make you feel beautiful or loved if you did not have those feelings while being single. It’s so important to work on yourself when you are not in a relationship. Learn to love the skin you’re in. Feel beautiful. If there’s something you don’t like about your weight, work on it and gain more confidence. If you feel that you may have a bad attitude, get it together, because a man will only see it the way that you do. You can’t expect someone to like you if you don’t even like yourself. It will show once they get to know you, and it WILL be annoying to them.

How much are you seeking God’s face?

Are you praying often? Are you only praying at church on Saturday or Sunday morning? What exactly are you praying for? Don’t be so occupied with praying that you get a husband who is worthy of you. Also spend your time praying that you will be a worthy wife for him as well. Pray for the both of you. God will answer your prayer as long as it’s in line with HIS OWN WILL. Pray that the Lord’s will shall be done.

What are you doing that is attracting the men that don’t fear God?

Is it the way you dress or something that you do? It could simply be happening because the devil knows that what God has deposited in you is very big and wants to keep you from releasing that. Don’t fall into his trap. Don’t become desperate and just go for anyone. The person you decide to marry will either make or break your destiny. Don’t risk your destiny simply because it is not happening on YOUR timetable.

Finally, God’s timing is always perfect.

We all seem to have our own time table for when we would like things to happen. We need to come to the realization that God has His own plan. God knows what’s best for us and he knows why He is allowing or not allowing certain things to take place in our lives. Are we trusting God wholeheartedly?

God loves you.

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