Dealing with RUDE

The question:

“You wrote about being irritable and rude, I think that was great. What if, for instance, my co worker is known to be very rude to everyone including the managers. This is not just hearsay because I am a witness and she has been rude to me too. I don’t hold any grudge against her but because of her attitude, I don’t talk to her at all. Even when she greets me I don’t respond because when I do, she responds very rudely. It makes me very annoyed. What do I do in a situation like this? Not to go off from the purpose of this blog, what if I am in a relationship with someone like this? The person may not be a rude person but everybody has bad days. What if he has a bad day and he is being rude to me? Do I just ignore him or deal with it? It is not like I am angry at the person or anything, I just don’t want to get annoyed and respond rudely too.”

The person asking this question is referring to one of our posts from the “Love Is…” Series.

When it comes to dealing with someone that is rude, maturity will tell you to deal with that individual compassionately. Life is tough and that individual is clearly going through something that is beyond what they can handle. It’s pretty much like that bully at school, who is only a bully because he is not receiving attention at home or is being treated horribly at home. Use that same mentality when engaging with this person.

I’ve come to realize even more this past week that those of us in Christ are better off when we face challenges of many kinds. Things may be going wrong from left to right, but because we have our faith and hope rooted in Jesus Christ, we are able to stand up and smile with even the worst that may be ahead of us. God never fails us. Now if you don’t have God, I can imagine that you would be rude to all that are in sight.

Let’s go back to the story of the wise man and the foolish man. The Bible says that the wise man built his house upon the rock, meaning that his foundation was solid and not one that would waver in any situation. On the other hand, the foolish man built his house on the sand. When you think about it, what are the properties of sand? When you go to the beach, you step on sand and it’s form changes. You hold the sand and it’s slowly crumbles through your fingers. So the storm came, and let me just say that the storms were EXACTLY THE SAME. It was literally plagiarism in the Bible, word-for-word. The storm tore up the house of the foolish man who built his house on sand and the house built on rock remained.

Let’s be compassionate and try to understand why some people act the way that they do. I’m not saying we should use that as an excuse for their behavior because we shouldn’t, we should understand their area of need and use that opportunity to introduce Christ to them.

Be the example: Kindness never kills anyone. If you are coming to that person with the angle of compassion, you will continue to treat them kindly. Don’t allow them to affect your mood. Don’t easily be swayed or else you will allow the devil to win. Things like this are roadblocks because the devil expects us to react in a way that is contrary to the word of God. Don’t give him that chance. Treat this individual the way Jesus would.

As a child, my mom was obsessed with some organization that would always sell pens, headscarves or other items and it would always say WWJD. Many of us may know that it stands for “What Would Jesus Do?” Keep this in mind anytime someone is about to get you away from the character of being kind.

So when it comes to ignoring this rude individual, that’s when you’ve actually created a problem. You don’t have to become friends with anyone who disrespects you, however, you DO need to treat them with respect as a Christian. As you treat them with respect and show them the Christ that is within you, it may even spark a change within them.

Now, when it comes to dating, you shouldn’t be with someone that is disrespectful. Disrespectful is not part of the characteristics of love listed in 1 Corinthians 13. Yes, everyone has their off days, but that doesn’t make it okay. If you feel your mate is being rude, your relationship should be free enough for you to call the person out and let then know that they are being rude and you don’t appreciate it. In some situations, it’s better to ignore it in the moment and bring it up when your mate’s emotions are back to normal. Don’t let “getting annoyed” keep you from addressing issues or making them better.

God loves you.

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