Love is… NOT DEMANDING!
Welcome to Day 5 of our “Love Is…” Series. So far, we’ve learned about patience, kindness, not being rude, jealousy, pride and being boastful. I hope it is helpful and that you are learning something new, or at least brushing up on what you already know. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to either email me or put a comment in the section below.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Let me just say that this post may be a bit on the shorter side. Demanding your own way can be attributed to selfishness as well as pride, which was explained in the previous post.
Don’t make everything about you. This ties in with yesterday’s topic of Pride. Relationships and life in general is a partnership. You can never do anything just by yourself. Relationships whether familial, friendly, or romantic are not just about one person. It includes a number of people if not, at least one other person from yourself.
Identifying whether or not you have this issue: How do you feel when things don’t go your way? Do you let it go or do you always find a way to retaliate and switch things around so that they go the way you would’ve wanted from the beginning? Are you a good listener? Do you allow people to finish their thoughts, or do you cut them off at the first moment they say something you disagree with? If you’re always and only concerned about what you think and how you feel things should be while disregarding what other people have to say or feel, then you should take a moment and acknowledge that you have a character trait that needs to be changed.
I guess that selfishness is only one portion of it, but the other portion is being “controlling”. Have you ever met someone controlling? If they don’t get their way, they just don’t feel well and so they end up getting their way at all costs. This type of thing damages relationships and causes people to lose respect for you. Is it worth it? Of course it isn’t.
There are a number of solutions to life’s challenges. Various ideas will come from each direction, but it’s not every idea that you have to take and use. There’s a difference between demanding that your way should be THE way, and weighing out different options and doing what is best for those who are directly involved. Be compassionate and invite other ideas. It’s not only your idea that will save the day.
So how can we move away from such a destructive character? Get away from this through fasting and prayers. Read your bible. I can’t stress that enough. You read your textbooks to understand the information which will aid in you becoming who you want to be in the future. How much less the bible? The bible was created to help us get closer to God and to be like him. If we aren’t reading His word, how are we supposed to become like Jesus. We’ve understood that Jesus Christ was and continues to be the ultimate “lover”. His display of love will go far beyond what anyone can ever do for their fellow brother, friend, and/or spouse. God’s display of love was the absolute greatest. Reading His word will only help us get closer and closer to being like He was and is.
Unity is the way to get beyond this trait. Pray for the spirit of Unity. In unity, you cannot fall, unless you’re unified for evil of course, but the ultimate judge is the Lord. If you think about it, even criminals that stick together tend to get away with their evil intentions. They all bind together and vow not to snitch on each other, and most times, they succeed. Why can’t we also be that way. When you are not demanding your own way, you become concerned about what benefits everyone and not just yourself. I think we’ve all heard the saying “united we stand and divided we fall.” It’s true. If you’re only concerned about getting your way, you will cause division among your family, friends, and most definitely in your relationships and YOU WILL FAIL. If you take a moment to analyze all possible solutions in order to see what’s best for the group, your results will be better off.
1 Corinthians 12:14-20- “14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? 18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body.“
There are different portions to a “whole” (differing opinions), but the end goal should be the same. That is how unity, and love, essentially, works.
As a matter of fact, don’t make ANY decision without consulting God first. We should be moving and operating by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, after all, it’s God who left that form of Himself for us. If the decisions are not spirit-led, then you should probably hold off until you get to that point in your walk. Let the spirit lead you in every part of your life, whether you’re at work, at home, in the church or wherever. Put your demanding and controlling desires aside and let God’s love permeate. You will see so much of a difference.
God loves you.