Welcome to Day 6 of our “Love Is…” Series. So far, we’ve learned about patience, kindness, not being rude, jealousy, pride, being boastful, and being demanding. I hope it is helpful and that you are learning something new, or at least brushing up on what you already know. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to either email me or put a comment in the section below.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

According to Merriam-Webster, irritable is defined as:

  • becoming angry or annoyed easily
  • easily exasperated or excited
  • responsive to stimuli

A few synonyms of irritable include: cranky, fiery, grouchy, grumpy, pettish, quick-tempered, short-tempered, snappy, and snarky.

Our individual characters come from somewhere, whether we like it or not. Your character is a bit hereditary. I’m sure you’ve heard either one of your parents compare you to either themselves, each other, or one of your relatives. I personally didn’t know that my inventive mind in sewing came from my maternal grandmother, but then my business side seems to have come from my father. We pick up bits and pieces of who we are from our parents. You may notice that people who may have seen their mothers beaten as a child either learn that they never want to do that, or end up beating their mates as well. You may also see that with alcoholics or crack addicts. They got that part of them through family history because they were exposed to it throughout life. Although there is the hereditary portion of gaining your character, there is the other side of it that you can also build yourself. Your character is shaped knowingly and unknowingly. You can go through a really bad situation or relationship and out of that you can become a bitter person. I think that’s very common, but in that situation, you are creating that type of character for your own self. Bitterness doesn’t have to be the outcome of a bad experience. Instead, you can turn it around and see the blessing out of the situation because we all know God has a plan for everything. The way you choose to react to situations in life determine the kind of character you build. If you deal with your issues in a negative manner, you will only reap negative character traits, and one of those character traits can be irritability.

When you’re irritable, you end up having an uninviting demeanor. Your face gives off the vibe that you don’t want to be messed around with. When you’re irritable, people develop a fear towards you. They don’t want to speak to you because they feel that you’re either going to blow up or get mad at them. You feel like you’re on eggshells with people like this. Is this how you want people to view you?

How do you expect to enter a relationship or stay in a relationship with such a character? If someone had an encounter with you that showcased your irritable character, I’m sure it would turn them off. They may label you as a rude person or someone who is angry, and then they would easily spread that information around. If others have already experienced that side of you, they would also co-sign, and then there you go tarnishing your image when you were sitting there crying that you wanted to enter a relationship and meet someone. Be the person that you would want to date if you were on the other end. Irritability will only scare people away OR cause them to have an open argument with you.

Aren’t relationships meant to thrive on communication and honesty? How can you communicate or even be honest with someone that is irritable. When you enter a relationship, you speak to your mate all the time, or at least you should have the desire to do so. You do this because you’re interested in them. Communication is key in a  relationship. Communication is the gateway of furthering your relationship with ANYONE. If you are irritable and that has been identified within the relationship, do you think that your mate or even a friend would want to spend time talking to you? Of course not! I wouldn’t want to talk to someone who may end up getting mad in a split second over something that I felt the need to relay. It’s not a good feeling to be on the receiving end in a conversation with an irritable person.

So now, when it comes to honesty, you should be most transparent with your mate. Your mate, if headed towards marriage, is supposed to be your best friend. If someone is your best friend, you want to tell them everything that is going on with you. If they are not able to fully express themselves to you, then they are not being honest with you. If they know that certain topics will rub you the wrong way, they will refrain from speaking about it just to avoid an outburst from you. Is that the relationship you would want? A relationship where your partner cannot be himself around you. I’m sure you do not. In cases like this, your mate will find someone else that he can talk to about everything. He may just go ahead and fill that void on his own.

You are in control of who you are and who you become. Although certain things are hereditary, it is up to you to either embrace it or work towards changing it. Make it a priority that you work on yourself at all times. We are not perfect, and so it is critical that we build ourselves up to harbor characteristics that will benefit us as life goes on. Be honest with yourselves. Identify issues and work on them. You have all the time in the world, but don’t waste that time delaying.

It’s our goal to become like God, or at least strive to be like Him. I know I say this all the time, but it’s important. How would you feel if you expressed your needs to God and then He just snapped at you? I’m sure it wouldn’t make you feel the best, and you probably would’ve left Him by the door and run in the other direction. God wouldn’t do that to you, so don’t do that to others. As a Christian, you are the bible or the Jesus that people can see and hear. If you have such a trait, are you not driving people away from the kingdom of God? How will you share Jesus with people if you are behaving in a manner that is not like Him. God is love, and irritability is not related to love in any way, shape, or form.

God loves you.

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