Love is… NOT JEALOUS!
Welcome to Day 3 of our “Love Is…” Series. So far, we’ve learned about patience, kindness, and not being rude. I hope it is helpful and that you are learning something new, or at least brushing up on what you already know. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to either email me or put a comment in the section below.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
What is jealousy? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word is defined as follows:
- an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has
- an unhappy or angry feeling caused by the belief that someone you love(such as your husband or wife) likes or is liked by someone else
When it comes to jealous, you are telling yourself that you are not content with who you are or what you have. Jealousy tends to rise up most when it comes to materialistic things. You see someone with a Porsche, and you tell yourself how much you wish you could have that car. Let’s even come to something more practical. You see someone with a boyfriend or a husband and you want exactly what they have. Sometimes, you may even want the exact person they have, but we’ll also save that for another post.
Jealousy is normal, however, that doesn’t make it good. We all wish that we had a mansion with several cars or something of that sort so that we could live life a bit easily. Jealousy in that manner is a bit more healthy. It becomes a problem when you are preying on individuals and exactly what they have. Not only are you preying on them, you are also unhappy with the fact that they have it and you do not. This is the type of jealousy that can become very dangerous.
Let’s look back into the bible and review the story of Cain and Abel. This story can be found in Genesis 4. Adam and Eve gave birth to Cain and later on produced Abel. Cain was basically a gardener and Abel was a shepherd. At the time of harvest, each of them had to present gifts to the Lord. Cain provided SOME of his crops as a gift to the Lord and on the other hand, Abel gave God the BEST portions of his firstborn lamb. So with all of these gifts, God chose to reject Cain’s gift and went ahead to accept Abel’s gift. This made Cain very angry. Cain became jealous due to this news and went ahead to kill his brother Abel in the middle of the fields. The Lord saw this and decided to punish Cain for allowing sin to enter him in such a manner. As a result, Cain was cursed and banished from the land. He was not allowed to bear crops on the land ever again.
When you allow jealousy to come into your life, you breed poison. This poison becomes a new character that is destructive. Your jealousy will not just hurt you, but it will hurt other people. It will bring a curse to your life. I’m sure we all want to be curse free. Don’t give jealousy a chance in your life, period.
In my opinion, I believe jealousy boils down to one thing. I believe it comes down to insecurity.
Insecurity is something a lot of us deal with. We spend our lives comparing ourselves and others to one another. We live in a life where contentment isn’t the norm. Everyday, we want to be someone else. We spend so much time idolizing these celebrities and celebrity relationships thinking that their lives are what we want and what we need. Meanwhile, we have no idea what actually goes down in their homes and even within their own minds. The people we see on TV are fun, happy and lively, but that’s only how they appear to be when they are doing their JOBS. That’s exactly what it is. It’s their job. If you had a performance job or a job as a model, it would be required for your face to look fierce and pleasant whether or not you actually felt that way. I think we forget that these people are human beings also. They have flaws and things about themselves that they also don’t like. They may even be dealing with mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression, but we overlook that and think that their lives are the standard we need to match up to.
Let’s learn to be content with who we are and where we are in life. God put you in your position to fulfill a purpose. If you are spending all of your time being content with the life of someone else, what makes you think that God’s purpose in your life will be fulfilled? Do you expect God to elevate you when you’re not even grateful for how far He has brought you in that moment? You cannot. You are made in God’s image whether or not you fit the model weight or size. God’s view of you is what matters.
Be content with the spouse/mate you have. People will always describe their mate in a way that will make you wonder if yours is good enough for you. Don’t be fooled. Don’t compare your mate to that of another person, whether it’s someone you know or even if it’s a celebrity that you DON’T know. The grass always looks greener on the other side, but if you water your side, it will look just as green.
Love is not jealous. You should never feel jealousy in your marriage. Your husband/wife is for you and you alone. Your spouse or mate should never give anyone more attention than what you are given. That would give birth to jealousy and open up the box of insecurities. It may cause you to sit around and wonder what that other person has that you are lacking and so forth. Let’s be careful and put ourselves in our mate’s shoes.
All-in-all, let’s just remember that jealousy breeds poison. Do you want to live a poisonous life or one that bears much fruit? Cain’s land was cursed due to his selfish actions. The land would no longer bear any crops. When it comes to your life, jealousy will kill off any type of fruit that you would have brought forth had you been content with where God placed you. Don’t jeopardize or bargain your life for a sold fantasy. Live a life of contentment. God has it all figured out.
God loves you.