Love is… PATIENT!

Welcome to the first day of our “Love Is…” blog post series. The purpose of this series is to open our minds and hearts to the definition of love. Most of you are interested in marriage and without love, marriage will not last. Let’s learn about each of the components of love and how we can use this in our relationships, marriages, and in life.

The following passage comes from 1st Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.


What is patience? What does it mean to be patient?
According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word patient has the following definitions:

  • bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
  • manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain
  • not hasty or impetuous
  • steadfast despite opposition, difficulty or adversity
  • able or willing to bear

The word, patient, has the synonyms of forbearing, long-suffering, stoic, tolerant, and uncomplaining.” So, with all the definitions and synonyms we have, we should highlight the phrase, “without complaint”. We all know that a big portion of being patient is waiting, however, the other portion that we may fail to acknowledge is the part where we wait without negative thoughts or complaint. Yes, it happens to us all. Imagine this:

You go to work and have a long day working from 7am until 7pm. You tell your mate that they should be there at 7 on the dot because you’re really tired and you need to get some sleep. A few hours pass by, and it’s time for you to head home. It’s 7pm and you don’t see your mate waiting for you outside. You text to see what’s going on, and your mate tells you that they are running about 10 minutes late and apologizes.

In this situation, you can act one of two ways. You can sit there and occupy yourself until your mate comes (better choice), or you can sit there and continuously text your mate complaining that they should hurry up because you are tired. Even though you may have texted, you have anger building up and your mind is going crazyyyyyy. In your mind, you start to think about how inconsiderate your mate is, and how you’re going to ignore your mate when they finally get to your job. Let’s be honest. We all do this from time to time. Our reactions may not be exact, but the concept is what matters.

It’s not enough if you are simply waiting. In this case, you had no choice but to wait because you didn’t have any other way of getting home. Waiting the “patient way” would have avoided the negative thoughts and the hasty actions through texting. Although you may not physically complain, what you may say in your mind is also something you need be cautious of. Our minds are such powerful tools. Be careful what you think. What you think WILL turn into your actions.

Patience can and will always be referred to sex. It’s so important that we are patient. We all live in a generation, and in a world where we want things to happen “right now.” When we want things “right now”, we are being impatient. Don’t you know that blessings come to pass with patience? You can’t go outside of God’s will and expect all of your concerns and wishes to be attended to when you didn’t give God the chance to make things great for you. Being patient in abstinence only increases your blessing. It’s one of the hardest things to do. Trust me, I know. Wherever you turn, there’s sex on the TV, in magazines, in your classrooms and it becomes such a normal thing. Before I got married, I would honestly go to my doctor’s appointments for a check up and they wouldn’t even ask me how I was doing; the first question they would ask was if I was on birth control. Our world is literally based on sex.

At this point in life, I wouldn’t be surprised if any of you felt that there was no point in waiting, because there was a time where I also felt the same.I felt this way because it just seemed like everyone was no longer a virgin. It doesn’t matter if that is the case. At the end of the day, we are called to follow one person and that is Jesus Christ. If he values virginity, then it shouldn’t matter what everyone else is doing. The only thing that should matter is what God wants us to do.

I know that many guys will come to you in the name of love. If someone truly loves you, they will not push you into sin. They won’t push you to do something that is against what you believe because it would be important to them. If they are not able to wait for you when it comes to sex, how do you know that they won’t react hastily to other decisions they may have to make in the future that concern you? You don’t know, and so don’t put yourself in that situation.

When it comes to marriage, patience is key. Let’s not forget that you claim to love this person you’re married to. When you get married, you are bringing two personalities together. The two individuals come from different backgrounds, were raised differently, have different personalities, but they have made the commitment to love each other and be one under one roof. Living with another person is not easy. By living with someone, you learn so much about them and how they behave behind closed doors. Maybe they enter the house after a long day of work and just drop all of their clothes at the door. Maybe in their house, that was the normal routine, but in your house, everyone had to go to their room and put their dirty clothes in their own hamper. I’m sure this will make you upset and eventually furious when you realize that it continues for days and then to weeks and on. Instead of becoming angry, make your next move with love in mind. Understand that it’s your backgrounds that make you different and that your future will only become what you guys create TOGETHER.

You will spend your marriage working out the differences of how you were raised. It’s not something that will be handled within a few months. It’s a habit that has been formed on both ends and so it will take just as long to break out of it and create new traditions of your own.

Life is a journey that requires patience as long as Christ is concerned. We all have a laundry list of prayer requests. Whether it’s marriage, education, finances or anything else, we should always know that God has our best interest at heart. After all, if you’re a representative of God, why would he make you look bad? He would be false advertising His own self. The Patriots Football team would fail if one of their star players couldn’t afford to live in a beautiful house with a nice car. How much more God? Yes, God allows us to go through hard times in order to refine us and show others a glimpse of his saving Grace. Word of mouth is the greatest form of advertisement. If God has done something great for you and has taken you out of the roughest time, wouldn’t you go and tell someone else so that they can also have faith in the same God you believe in? Wouldn’t you explain to them that patience while waiting on God made things worthwhile?

Let’s have patience and wait without complaint for God’s perfect timing. That breakthrough you are in need of is on the way. The perfect time is in God’s hands and you need to have the patience in order to receive it at the right time. Don’t cut your blessing short just because you think God is delaying. When has God ever been late for a great reveal? Never. He is all knowing and so use that to fuel your patience.

“This vision is for a future time.
    It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,
    for it will surely take place.
    It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk 2:3

Whether your area of concern or need is sex, marriage, education, money and etc., make sure that you TAKE YOUR TIME! Life is not a race. Hasty decisions end in disaster because you didn’t patiently consider all of the options required. Hasty is the opposite of being patient. At the end of the day, we are all striving to be like Jesus. Jesus summed up in one word, is LOVE. If we are to be like Him, we should be more conscientious about how we act when we are put into situations where we need to exercise patience.

God loves you.

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